Regret
by dexterousduo
Summary: When Dave and Karkat break up and Karkat ends up in an abusive relationship, they harbor feelings for each other still. When Dave finds Karkat after a visit from the abuser, much shenanigans abound. Humanstuck plus grubmarks cause sexy. Reviews welcome! Rated M for TRIGGERS! rape, abuse, minor gore, self harm, yaoi. Written by Halter. I dont own Homestuck. Hussie does, genius he is
1. Chapter 1: Pain

I lay on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out, shuddering in pain. "D...dave..." I squinched my eyes shut. "I... I miss you..." I touched myself gently, knowing that the wounds were healed too much. It was coming again. I could feel it.

The door opened and I shrunk into a corner. "KARKAAAAAAAAT IM BACK WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU YOU FUCKING CUNT?" I wipe my face and walk I to the bedroom, quickly sliding on the only thing I knew Levi would want to see me in; my boxers, skinny jeans, and belly shirt. I finish clothing myself as a hulking giant of a man, burly and obviously violent as well as heavily intoxicated, bursts into the room. "BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" I winced as he punched me hard in the jawbone and I felt bones crack. "WHY DONT YOU HAVE FOOD MADE FOR ME?" He slammed the door shut behind him.

"Honey you said you werent going to be home until friday. I..." I stammered fearfully. He forcefully backhanded me.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DONT SHUT UP RIGHT?"

"P-p-please baby I..." there was anguish in my eyes. He shovem me back against the wall viciously.

"DONT 'PLEASE BABY' ME I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP. NOW YOUR GONNA PAY" He grabbed my arm and shoved me toward the table as I cried out slightly. "I SAID SHUT UP BITCH" he grabbed my hair. "BEND OVER" but he didnt wait for me to react he simply yelled, "I SAID, BEND OVER!" He mercilessly shoved me in half, smashing my ribs against the table and bashing my face into it.

"P-please Levi ill stop talking..."

He bashed my face on the table again. "I SAID SHUT UP" he started undoing his belt and his pants. "YOU WONT SHUT UP SO YOUR GOING TO BE PUNISHED." He pulled down his pants and pulled out his dick, yanking down my pants and roughly smacked my ass. "YOU ASKED FOR THIS BITCH." He shoved in my ass hard as I bit my lip so I wouldnt cry out as he viciously pounded me while slamming my body down on the table as hard as he could. "HAHAHA YOU LIKE THAT DONT YOU YOU FUCKING SLUT YOU LIKE TAKING IT HARD." I stayed quiet as my eyes squeezed shut and tears poured out.

He finished with a roar and smashed my face again as he shoved in one final time and I felt his hot genetic material spill deep inside me. He pulled me up to face him, a strange mixture of blood and cum pouring out of me. He mercilessly yanked my hair so hard the roots bled.

"WHATS THIS BITCH. YOU CRYING? YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CRY." I shake my head in anguish because I know whats coming yet.

"Levi please..."

"SHUT. UP. YOU. FUCKING. SLUT!" He shoved me against the wall and ripped off my shirt and grabbed my nipples so hard his nails dug in and drew blood. "WHEN YOU CRY, YOU GET THE BELT." He turned me around and braced my hands against the wall as he took his belt off and looped it around his hand and started whipping me without remorse.

"YOU WANNA CRY? ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT BITCH!" He kept it up for a while then stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief and started to move. "NOT SO FAST." He shoved my face against the wall, blood already dripping from my nose. I rebraced my hands and bit my lip, drawing blood as I close my eyes in horror as he turned the belt around to the buckle side. "YOUR NOT GETTING OFF SO EASY THIS TIME YOU FUCKING SKANK."

He started whipping me with the metal side, ripping open the flesh over and over. After a while, he leaned over and roughly bit my neck, drawing a line of blood and he gently lapped at the fluid. He began hitting me again but stopped after a bit, panting, and said, "ILL BE IN THE TV ROOM NOW MAKE ME FOOD." He walked out as I slumped to the ground in pain. "NOW!"

I whimpered then slowly picked myself up from the ground, reaching for a damp towel. "AND DONT BOTHER CLEANING YOURSELF UP UNTIL AFTER YOU FINISH MAKING MY FOOD" I winced, pulling on the tattered remains of my shirt, pulled up my pants, and slowly made my way into the kitchen. A few minutes later I brought him the food, attempting not to limp.

He looked at me with a smile. "Thank you baby..." he gently stroked my cheek. "Oh god... im so... im so sorry... what... what did you do to make me do this?" I looked away, guilty. "Okay... well im heading out with the guys in a couple minutes and ill be back in a few days okay? Ill win some money and everything will be okay. Well fix everything and well get married and be happy. Sound good?"

I responded, "yeah, I guess we'll be together."

"Okay." He gently kissed me, avoiding the bruises blossoming over my cheekbones. A couple minutes later, he stood up. "I love you Kar... your my one and only... ill see you in a few days, okay?" I nod and look down. He strokes my chin. "Bye." He walks out and slamed the door behind him. I walked back into the room, stumbled to the bed and collapsed in tears and pain. I quickly passed out as the pain engulfed me.


	2. Chapter 2: The Call

I groaned as I came to. The welts on my back ached with every slight shift, but I knew I had to fix myself up if I wanted to keep full use of my muscles. I pulled myself up to limp to the bathroom with a loud and pained moan.

I sagged against the sink and wrapped my back in bandages slowly. I winced and bit my lip with every movement. I slowly inched my way into the living room slowly. I laid down on my chest and muffled my face into the pillow.

Suddenly my phone started to ring. I slowly reached over and pulled it to my ear. "Hello...?"

"...karkat? Whats wrong?"

I bolt up and my eyes shoot wide open. "Dave?" I asked, my voice breaking, tears running down my cheeks.

"Karkat where are you" I dont respond and just make a soft sob. "Karkat. Are you with that no good boyfriend?" I stay silent. "Your at his apartment. Im coming over there right now."

"Dave I miss you," I quietly whisper and my voice cracks. "P-please..."

"Stay right where you are. Im coming for you." The phone hung up and I sat there in disbelief as I contemplated the fact that he was coming for me. I was still wondering at the fact ten minutes later when a knock came on the door.

"Karkat!" Daves voice was music. I stood up and ran to the door.

In hindsight, that wasnt a good idea from the blood loss. I reached the door, then blacked out right after I unlocked the door, hitting the floor as Dave burst in. "KARKAT!"


	3. Chapter 3: Come Home

I awoke to a touch on my face. "Hey" a male voice said gruffly.

I winced. "Levi... you said you would be gone for a... oh gog im sorry ill be quiet just... please dont use the buckle again..." I whimpered and cowered from his touch.

"Oh Karkat im sorry. Its not Levi. Its me... Dave." I glanced up through blurry eyes.

"D-Dave? Is this a dream? It cant really be you. Your just a figment of my imagination here to torment me." I stared at him in anguish and tears. "Though if you were real I would tell you how much..." I choked back a sob "how much I miss you and need you. How much I was an idiot... and how much I love you." Tears welled up in Daves eyes and he clutched my small body to his.

"Im real... I promise. I love you too. I should have known... I called to check up on you... I should have sooner."

Confused, I reach to touch your face. "You... your real? You... you dont hate me?" He scoffed at my words.

"Of course not baby. I could never hate you. Come home where you belong."

I just stared at him. "You-youll take me back after I left you like that? After I dumped you?"

He smiled tenderly at me. "Of course baby. You were just scared of how well things were going. I understand." He scowled. "What I dont understand is why you started with this Levi guy and stay with him when he obviously beats you."

I flinched away. "He doesnt just beat me..." the horrified look on Daves face made me pause for a second. "I... I deserve it. Thats why I stayed. I deserve to be beaten and... and violated... im nothing... nothing..." I lowered my head in shame.

Dave gently picked up my chin. "Youre worth everything. No one deserves how youve been treated. Especially not you." He kissed me gently. "Now come on." He easily lifted me up into his arms. Carrying me out to his car, he drove back to the apartment we had shared months ago before I got cold feet and walked away from the best thing in my life. I tried to open my own door but he got there first, darting superhumanly fast around the car and lifting me out. I squealed in protest but he simply carried me inside like his bride. I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent.

"I... I missed you... every day Dave. When he was there, it was pain one way or the other. When he wasnt, I was locked in with barely enough to eat... I never realized... how... truly amazing you are. I dont know why I left after 2 and a half years of bliss..." I whimpered into his now soaked shirt.

"To quote you, shoosh. Its fine okay? You are fine. I love you. And Levi is never coming near you again." He set me on the couch we had cuddled on countless times. "I regret pushing you to leaving. You didnt deserve that." I was finally able to calm down enough to notice his appearance. His normally wellkept hair was mussy and wild, and the blond strands look as if they hadnt been washed in weeks. His sunglasses were smudged instead of being pristine as he usually kept them, and he had on a red sweatshirt. His jeans were baggy and obviously in need of a belt and under the clothes you could see how much weight he had lost in the last 4 months. His face was pale and gaunt, and there were purple bags sagging from underneath the infamous shades.

In other words, he looked exhausted and honestly, on the verge of death.


	4. Chapter 4: Fixer Upper

**YAY UPDATES! Sorry this is my first authors note. I just decided to do one. I hope you like it so far, this chapters pretty short. I love both Dave and Karkat but it might be a bit before anything happens. I kinda wing it on these things, and karkat may take a while to recover. Anyway leave a review please! Input is always welcomed!**

"Dave, what have you done to yourself?" I asked gently. He looked away. "Have you been eating? Sleeping? Taking care of yourself at all?" He shook his head.

"No." He was nearly crying at this point. "There... there was no reason to without you. Who cares about me? It wouldnt matter if I stopped existing..."

"Quiet." I looked at him, my eyes pentrating into his soul. "If you stopped existing I would too. You are my everything. You are the sun that brightens up the sky. You are the very air I breathe. The only thing that kept me going these last months was knowing you were alive." I kissed him gently. "You matter. And you deserve the world. Never think any less."

He reached for me and whispered, "and you do too." We sat there, just holding each other. After a moment he broke the embrace. "You were neglecting your wounds. This is a crappy job. Come here you little moron." He gently guided me to the bathroom.

Removing the hasty bandage job, he gawked at my back. He growled and whispered, "im going to kill him." He sat me down on the seat in the shower after stripping us both. I was too tired to even blush. He turned on the water, making sure it wasnt too hot. Gently, he cleaned the wounds on my back, stopping every time I flinched. When he was done, he kissed me gently and turned off the water. He supported me as we made our way into the bedroom and he lay me gently on my stomach. "Stay here ill be right back."

I made myself comfortable as he left the room. When he came back, he had fresh bandages and some sort of ointment that smelled of mint. "This might sting a bit."


	5. Chapter 5: His- No, Ours

**GAH guys im so sorry I know I promised weekly updates but life went crazy. My sister got engaged im in cali for my uncles wedding everythings just insane. Im updating twice tonight so this chapter might be pretty short. But hopefully youll enjoy the little bits im adding at a time. I love this story. 3 you guys and please review! Feel free to mention grammar mistakes. Yes I know I should use apostrophes more... *sigh* but just review what you think of it or issues or even story ideas! I wanna hear from you guys. All two followers. And anyone else uwu**

I lay on the bed crying as he slid the viscous liquid over the wounds. As he kept working it in, though, the pain eased a bit. He tried to be gentle, but the cold ointment still stung like a motherfucker. I moaned softly in pain as his finger probed a cut harder than he had the rest.

"You okay?" He asked. I smiled gently and mumbled an affirmation into the pillow. "Well, im done now. Sit up," I started to move, "slowly now. Dont rip them open more than they already are." He gently wrapped clean bandages around my back.

"Dave..." he put a finger to my lips.

"Dont say one word. Your back and thats all that matters. Just recover and that will be enough for me." He looked at me in anguish. "Im sorry it took so long for me to come get you back... I should have earlier... I should have..." it was my turn to silence him, but I did so with a red mottled shadow across my cheeks, pressing my lips to his. He just smiled and carried me to his- no, our- bed.

Laying me down gently, he took out a blanket and flipped it over me.

Kissing my forehead, he turned away to let me sleep; instead, I grabbed his hand weakly. "Stay with me... please... I dont want to be alone." He smiled and curled up around me.

"Youll never be alone again. I promise."

**The fish Gods command you to review. **


	6. Chapter 6: Blades

**As promised! A second update in one night! This one is a bit longer. Flashback times! Starting to reveal more! Yay! Btw, theres literally no plan for this fanfic. It is being winged. And pretty much writing itself. I have a roleplay friend and we do DaveKat and I take some ideas from that but I just am mainly going with plot twists and plot in general as it comes to mind. Therell be smut in the future soon but idk just when yet. And guys please review? I would be oh so grateful.**

I woke up to a body curled around me. I winced at first, assuming it was Levi. As soon as I did, I remembered what happened. I was with Dave. And he accepted me back without question. For some reason that made me super depressed. Everything felt like it was crushing in on me. Now that I was back, I knew it wouldnt be long before I started screwing up his life like I did before. I shivered as I recalled the fight, stumbling into the bathroom.

_"You just have to screw everything up dont you? I was this close to finally getting my big shot at fame and you had to fuck it all up!" _

_"How was I supposed to know? All I did was come visit you to wish you luck!"_

_"You brought Vriska!"_

_"Yeah cause we were hanging out and she wanted to wish you good luck too! How was I supposed to know shed start singing?" _

_"Well she did and they gave her the contract instead! And YOU BROUGHT HER!"_

_"Well it wasnt my fault"_

_"Of course not. It wasnt your fault when you got drunk and banged someone else either."_

_"You had yelled at me. And she raped me!" I was starting to cry as he paced the room._

_"Of course she did. And when the house caught on fire and you were the only one here? I was at an audition and I would have made it if I didnt have to rush home!"_

_"That was arson!"_

_"But they never caught the culprit. Maybe you set the fire! I think you just dont want me to succeed!"_

_"Dave of course I do."_

_"But your always in my way!" I trembled at that._

_"Maybe it would just be better if I got out of your way then."_

_"Maybe it would!" Those words broke me._

_"Fine ill just go then." I walked out the door. _

_"Karkat..." Dave followed me, horrified. "I... I didnt mean it."_

_"Yes you did. So ill get out of your way. Enjoy your carreer. Enjoy being alone." And I got into my car and left._

I trembled at the sink. It seemed so stupid the last four months. Being in his way. But now that I was back, I knew his carreer would be held back again. And that was the last thinf I wanted to do. Crying, I grabbed the nearest object, and I looked at it.

A razor blade.

I looked at it. And looked at it. Then I realized. Pain I understood. Pain distracts from the heart. Pain... I needed pain. How would it feel? I wondered. How would it feel to pull the blade through the skin, not deep enough to maim. To kill. Just deep enough to hurt and quell my mind. However, I could form another thought, my hand moved on its own and gently moved it across my wrist. The feel of the cool blade slicing through the flesh was delicious and exquisite. At the same time, the pain was burning and relaxing. Turning on the water, I watched the blood swirl with the water as it slowly spiraled down the drain.

The sensation was so new, so intriguing, I stroked the razor across my skin a couple more times. The same clarified state of mind resulted from each slice, and my body had already begun craving more. I positioned the metal above my wrist to make another strike when I heard a gasp at the door. The blade was out of my hand an instant later, and a pissed off Dave was standing in the doorway holding it.

"Karkat..." I panicked slightly.

In my distraught state, remembering the fight, I had left the door open.

**Do you guys mind me sliding in these authors notes? I didnt do it the first few chapters but I figured id say stuff.**

**The Fish Gods command you to review.**


	7. Chapter 7: Never Again

**Hey guys fast updates yay! This chapter is pretty long and has a bit of romantic stuffs. It doesnt get smutty yet (sadly) but it will soon dont worry. I love you guys and please review! Im really proud of this chapter. And also yes I know the characters are a bit OOC but hopefully it doesnt detract from it any. Besides this story has a bit of background that will be exposed vut the experiences have changed the characters a bit.**

He stood there expressionless, and that was how I knew he was angry. He only gets that stoic expression when hes pissed. In an even, calculated voice he said one simple word.

"Why."

It wasnt a question, how he said it. It was a statement. Not sure how to respond, I stared at my feet. Gently, he lifted my chin.

"Karkat, this is bad for you. Why would you do this to yourself?"

Shaking his hand off, I growled at him, "because now that im back im gonna get in your way again. Ill always get in the way." He grabbed my face in his hands, pulling off his shades.

"You will never, EVER be in my way. Got that?"

Looking up at his burgundy eyes with my bright red ones, I could only respond, "but you said I was..."

"I lied. Okay? I was frustrated at myself and I took it out on you. I promise you have never been in my way and never will be. I never stopped thinking about you for even a moment these last four months. I couldnt stop thinking about how amazing you are and how sweet you can be and how understanding and kind you always were. About the fact that you always supported me and my dreams and carreer even if it meant me being away for long periods of time. You never did anything wrong and I used you as a scapegoat. You came to say good luck even though you were doing other things that day like the amazing boyfriend you are and all I did was yell at you for it. I regret those words every moment of every day, whether asleep or awake. I wanted to call you every single day and say I didnt mean it. To call you back. To tell you I love you. But I didnt think youd accept me after the horrid things I said. Im glad I called when I did too. The next time im pretty sure I would be going to your funeral..."

I cried and covered my mouth, touched by his sweetness. I looked at him and said, "I dont deserve you Dave..." Sighing, he drew me close and kissed me tenderly. I froze up momentarily then lost myself tho the gentle pressure. He gently deepened it, humming against my lips softly. I murmered against his lips quietly, "Dave I love you so much im sorry I ever left you." He responded by burying his fingers in my hair, gently licking my lower lip and nibbling slightly, requesting access. Opening my lips, I welcomed the intrusion of his tongue, the sweet nectar of his apple-like flavor a welcome embrace upon my mouth. I moaned softly, melting in his arms, draping my arms around his neck and sagging my weight on him. Lifting me in his arms without breaking the kiss, he carried me into our bedroom, laying me on the bed.

When he began lifting the hem of my shirt, I stopped his hand, pulling back. "Dave, I..."

"Its okay."

"Im just... lets work up slowly okay?" He nodded, his eyes soft.

"I understand. From what happened to you, its gonna take a while for you to be okay with it again. I can wait. All that matters is that your okay and that your comfortable." He kissed me softly, as I smile up at him, touched by his thoughtfulness.

"I love you still, you big moron."

"I may be a moron, but your an idiot for loving me. I love you too."

"Yeah but im your idiot." I smiled, deciding to say, "I love you three."

Not even missing a beat, he smiled and responded smoothly, "I love you FOURever." I blushed a deep scarlet and giggled. He kissed me again, and I could feel his smile against my lips. He stood up slowly, breaking the kiss and standing over the bed. I looked up at him, a bit of pink still tinting my cheeks. He grabbed the blankets from the foot of the bed, climbed back knto the bed and snuggled with me. As we fell asleep once again, he whispered in my ear the kindest words anyone has ever said to me.

"Never hurt yourself again. When you do, it hurts me too. Youre my world and I dont want to lose you ever again in any way. If your hurting at all in your heart just come talk to me and ill help you through it. But never do that. If I can help it, youll never be in pain again."

Those words were the sweet sound I fell asleep to.

**The Fish Gods command you to review.**


	8. Chapter 8: Over Breakfast

**Yay more fast updates. This chapter has a cameo of one of my favorite trolls. Because I love him. Anyway weve got a bit of smut beginning here! Oh and grubmarks 3 3 yay! Review guys please! **

I awoke with a groan, feeling cold. I wondered why until I realized that Dave wasnt behind me anymore. The lack of warmth and pressure on my side left me whimpering slightly. That is, until I looked up and saw him standing in the doorway shirtless, a small smirk on his face.

"Morning sleepyhead. How you doing?" The scent of sizzling sausage and hashbrowns drifted tp my nostrils, and I inhaled deeply. My gut growled as I realized how hungry I really was. Dave smiled at the sound. "Cmon. Breakfast is almost done."

"Smells delicious. And Im great how about you?" I responded with a yawn and a smile.

"Amazing now that youre here." He winked as I took his arm and smiled. Walking arm in arm to the small kitchen, he piled a plate with the food stuffs. As I chowed down, a knock sounded from the door. "Now who could that be...?" He walked over and unabashedly opened the door, still shirtless.

"Hey! Ii heard KK iis back home! Iith' he okay?" A familiar lisp carried through the open door. I watched as Dave instantly tensed up. He's still jealous of him, even though we broke up a long time ago. I think he resents the fact that we stayed friends even though weve had sex.

"Yeah hes fine. How did you know hes back home?" Came the curt reply.

"Dude iit'th all over your fath'ebook!" He threw up his hands to the sides and bent his middle and index finger on each hand. "Heth' home heth' home! He came back to me even though iim th'uch a moron! Iim never lettiing hiim go agaiin! Once I nurth' hiim back to health everythiing wiil be okay agaiin!" He snorted. "Your th'uch a hopeleth' cauth' Dave."

Dave looked like he was about to explode on the poor bastard so I walked over and put a hand on his shoulder, which he naturally leaned into and relaxed visibly. "Sollux its been too long. Im doing fine I just had a small..." I glanced at Dave. "Accident. Im well on the road to recovery. How are you?"

"Iim doiing fiine and wiil keep doing th'o unleth' your boyfriend killth' me." He glared at Dave, who stuck out his tongue at him.

Holding Dave back, I smiled and replied, "Thats good to hear Sol. Nice to see you as always," and slammed the door in his face. Grinning at Dave, I grabbed his hips and pressed my body to his. Sollux knocked on the door again loudly.

"Cmon guyth' Ii wanna hang out!" We ignored him and he pounded harder, yelling.

"Well you maybe wanna have a bit of fun my kitty Kat?" Dave asked with a wink, pretending Sollux wasnt making a ruckus on our front porch.

"Hmmmm maybe a bit... I dont think ill be able to make it far this time Dave..." I adjusted awkwardly. In response he just smiled and kissed me.

"I know. And as I said, its okay. I love you no matter what. Im not gonna pressure you into anything."

"YOU ATH'HOLETH' II CAN HEAR YOU TALKIING IIN THERE! LET ME THE FUCK IIN!" Sollux was still pounding the door. Continuing to ignore him, Dave swept me up again like he had in the middle of the night last night when he had found me in the bathroom. Carrying me to the bedroom, he closed the door behind him, muffling the sounds through the soundproof walls. Gently, he laid me down and kissed me, placing his hand against my cheek and rubbing the pad of his thumb across my cheekbone. He softly licked my lip requesting entrance and I happily obliged, opening my mouth and inviting the warmth of his tongue into my mouth.

"Mmmm you taste like strawberries somehow" he mumbled, delving his tongue deep inside my mouth, exploring as if to relearn every contour of the cavern. I smiled and softly nibbled his tongue, sucking on it as he moaned quietly against my lips. This time I was the one to guide his hands to the edge of my shirt. Trailing kisses across my jawbone, he leaned close to my ear.

"Are you sure love?" He asked as he toyed with the hem of the cloth.

"Completely." He removed my shirt in one quick movement and instantly was back in my ear licking and nibbling the lobe.

Smiling, he whispered, "you are the keeper of my heart. The only person I let see the real me. The only one I care about," and gently kissed across my jaw and down my neck. I moaned softly.

"I... I love you Dave." He grinned against my collar bone.

"I love you too my sweet." He leaft a dark purple spot where his lips were then trailed kisses licks and nibbles down to my left nipple and gently suckled it and rubbed the neglected one with the tip of his thumb. Arching my back, I moaned loudly at his movements. He softly brushed hus teeth over the nubbin. Sucking it gently, he pulled back, releasing it with a distinct *pop* and moved to the other, giving it the same treatment.

I ran my fingers through his hair, purring softly. Grabbing my hand, he traced circles on my palm, gently rubbing the small calluses on them, using the other arm to brace himself while licking and suckling and nibbling all over over my abdomen. Smiling, I watch his movements as I sigh softly. After he finished covering my entire chest, he ran his tongue softly into around my belly, reaching around to softly caress my grubmarks. Gasping and moaning, I arched my back as his fingers ran across the tender flesh on my back.

"Oh gog... Dave... yes~" I moaned loudly. He smiled and rolled me over, then gently began tonguing them one by one. I moaned into the pillow, and as he nipped one of them I screamed loudly, "DAVE FUCK OH GOG," clenching the bedsheets and writhing in pleasure. He rubbed his nose along one of them then rolled me back over and kissed me.

He reached to the button of my pants, asking, "may I?"

Blushing, I say, "yeah I think so. You have me so hard right now I think I can get over my issues." Grinning, he pushed the button through.

"Alright. You asked for it babe."

**The Fish Gods command you to review.**


	9. Chapter 9: Pain of the Past

**MY LOVELY READERS ITS BEEN TOO LONG im sorry I took so long on this but senior years been stressing me out. Lovely smut smut lovely but I kinda ruin it... im sorry -.- poor karkat ... *tears* ill stop being mean to him eventually but the poor baby has so many issues... *le sigh* ill try to update more I promise! Please review! I wanna hear from you guys especially since im almost at a thousand views!**

Gently he tugged down my pants. He nipped and licked my inner thighs, brushing my shaft through my boxers with his cheek. I moaned loudly as he toyed with the edges of them, still unsure. "Are you completely okay with this? Dont say yes to make me feel better. Be honest."

Looking him straight in the beautiful burgundy eyes, I responded, "more sure than I have been of anything else ever." He grinned and pulled them down, and my length stood straight up against my stomach.

"Mmmm I forgot how sexy you were. And big," Dave purred at the sight. I blushed and looked to the side as he laughed and drew his tongue from the base to the crown of my shaft.

"Nnnngh Dave... fuck...* I moaned loudly, shuddering in pleasure. He grinned and wrapped his mouth around the tip, swirling his tongue in the slit. He slurped a bit as a bit of precum dribbled out of it and he sucked it up. I almost came at the sound and sight. I was already in ecstasy, so I almost died at what he did next.

Plunging his mouth down my member, he deep throated my entire length in one smooth movement. I groaned his name and arched my back as he sucked and licked it, cupping my sac in his hand. "Dave oh gog... please... I need... I..."

"You need what?" He grinned. I pouted.

"You... in me..."

"I think that can be arranged."

He kissed his way up to my mouth, and slid a finger inside me. "Thats not what I meant," I groaned out.

"Im taking my time. I want this to be pleasant for you." He slid in another finger and I moaned. He started scissoring and I arched my back to bring his fingers in deeper. In the last months the feeling of intrusion had become unwelcome and unwanted. However, this was Dave. So gentle, so confident.

So loving.

I didnt even think about Levi as I gelt his hands on me, the ecstasy he drew out of my body with every movement. Kissing me slowly and carefully, he slid in another finger. I moaned, knowing what was coming soon. Moving his fingers in and out, my muscles clenched at his fingers, wanting him, wanting more. I bit my lip, before I started begging for him. I knew I would, I knew this was too much for me to handle. Sensing the need, he withdrew his fingers, tracing them down my chest instead. He kissed me slowly and tenderly.

"Ready?" He whispered, a sound I felt more than I heard. Nodding, I reached for him. With a light laugh that reverberated through my chest, he pressed himself to my entrance, then slowly slid in.

Instantly, I tensed up. Horrors flooded my mind, memories of what Levi had done, the things his 'friends' had done to me. I bit my knuckle, drawing blood, as tears fell from the corners of my eyes, a whimper escaping my lips. Dave pulled out immediately, and kissed me softly.

"Shhhhh Karkat its okay. Its me, Dave. He cant hurt you anymore. Hell never hurt you again. Shhhhh..." he whispered, cradling my head in his arms, laying me across his lap. Tears flooded across his hands, and I buried my face in his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. I was reliving every moment, every agony of my time locked in that apartment. I was dying, I was being ripped apart.

I curled up into a ball of utter pain as I refelt every bit of torment and pain that had been inflicted upon me, and I screamed. I screamed so loud it hurt my own ears, it probably hurt Dave's, and it hurt my heart. I could feel the muscles rip and heal and tear and heal and be utterly destroyed time after time after time. I didnt register Dave petting my hair, singing to me softly, or even the cool washcloth he patted on my forehead.

All I felt was soul-ripping, degrading pain.

**The Fish Gods are tired of waiting for you to review. They went on vacation and will be back shortly! In the meantime they say they will read reviews upon return. They pleasantly request that you review.**


	10. Chapter AN: UPDATE SOON HOPEFULLY

**Guys im so sorry its been over a month since updates! Senior year is killing me on so many levels and a friend committed suicide and everything has just been overwhelming. I know you all were expecting an update since its a new chapter but I will be updating the story as soon as I can I promise! I look forward to seeing where itll go and I know it was very much a cliffhanger but itll continue soon. Hopefully within the next few weeks! I promise ill work on it as soon as I possibly can. I have gotten several people who told me to keep going, apparently this is a good story, so I will do my best. I love you all and I promise I will see you soon! In the meantime review and send me story ideas! I love to hear from you guys.**


	11. Chapter 10: Remember

**so I was hoping to finish this by thanksgiving but I guess I'm a couple days late. Oh well, its alright I guess. The long awaited chapter 10! This is slightly triggering but its also super sweet. I'm proud of it. Also, I write this on my phone, which is why the punctuation has always sucked, I'm hopefully getting a laptop soon, I really need one. Anyway, I got a new phone, and this one auntomatically adds in punctuation! Yay! So it'll actually look nice. :) I love you guys and thanks for waiting and putting up with my SHIT! I love you all, and here you go, chapter 10 of Regret, entitled, Remember.**

It was three months before. The first time Levi brought some friends over, the first time I knew there were other people out there like him: cruel like him. The first time I found out what true horror really is.

He busted in the door as drunk as ever and I shrunk into a corner, not wanting to go through the abuse he inflicted yet again. When I heard the words he shouted, my heart leaped in hope.

"KARKAAAAAT! I brought some friends over! We're gonna have a great time tonight!"

I ran into the room expecting to have a night free of horrors, maybe a game night. The hope was short lived and I didn't even know the horrors that awaited me that night. I ran into the room, expecting reprieve. What I got was worse.

I walked into a room of drunk men, happy to have guests. Levi slung his arm around my waist, and introduced me.

"Karkat, these are the guys." He pointed as he introduced them. "Brett, Carlos, Xavier, and Denmark." I smiled, greeting them each with a warm hello and a handshake. "See guys? I told you he was well behaved." They laughed and roughed each other up a bit.

That was when Levi pulled me off to the side. "Listen here, you whore," he said in a low voice, my heart dropping. "You're gonna do exactly what anyone wants tonight and you are NOT going to embarrass me, or there will be consequences. Understand?" I nodded fearfully. "Good." He turned back to the guys. "Let's get this party started then!"

I plastered a wifely smile to my face. "Can I make you guys anything to eat?" They laughed loudly and Carlos leaned down into my ear.

"Baby, we were told you're on the menu tonight."

I felt my face go pallid as they began removing their pants. I looked to Levi and he just gave me the look that said, "you refuse, there will be consequences."

I spent the night subjecting myself to all sorts of horrors **((A/N! I'll spare you the details. I really don't feel like writing out a gangrape sequence. Too depressing))** the like of which I had never been subjected to before. I was reliving the point when Xavier, Carlos, and Brett were all inside my body, ripping the tender flesh of my insides with their pulsing members, while I sucked off Denmark and was pumping Levi's cock in my hand when a faint voice penetrated my mind. The lilt was one that was comforting and familiar, enough to shift my memories to better ones.

The voice of Dave.

"Karkat love it's gonna be alright," the voice whispered, the loving presence filtering through my subconscious, launching better memories. Sweeter, kinder ones. Ones of Dave.

Our first date. Our first time making love. The night I met his brother, Dirk. And, of course, the night he told me he loved me. That specific memory flooded my consciousness.

Our hands twined together, sweat slick bodies caressing each other tenderly. We were both inexperienced at that point, each of us each other's first. This was the third time we had made love together, a year into the bliss of our relationship.

Soft moans escaped his lips as he gently pressed into me, just barely brushing my prostate. Enough to drive me crazy, but not over the edge. I was trilling lightly from the back of my throat, urging him on in his slow, methodical, delicious pace. We both were going crazy for each other, bodies slippery with exertion and sliding sensually against one another. I felt every flex of muscle in his body, every labored breath in and out as we both gradually worked our way into ecstasy in each other's arms.

He clutched my body to his, making me purr at the friction causing me to lift my hips to his. We were both on the edge, about to flow over into the abyss of pleasure that was threatening to wash over us both. We were waiting for a trigger, though I didn't know what. That was when our eyes locked, and he leaned in close and whispered those three words for the first time, the first time he had said them, the first I had heard them directed at me. Those three words everyone longs to hear.

"I love you."

It threw us both across the precipice into that realm where we felt like we were flying together, and I vaguely heard myself gasp out a tender,

"I love you too."

I blinked my eyes open, and Dave was looking into my eyes the same as that night, the sweetness in his eyes even deeper and more profound than last time, and he looked grateful I was okay. I closed my eyes, pulled him close and whispered those words once again, those words that made me smile and lifted my spirits in the darkest hour, remembering those words coming from his mouth.

"I love you."

**thanks for reading guys! The Fish Gods will never return. Review though! I love you guys. Give me new story ideas! I wanna hear from you uwu**


	12. Chapter 11: A New Start

**Hello my lovelies! Look at me, I'm updating again in such a short time! I really enjoy writing this fic. However, I believe I will wrap it up somewhere around chapter 20. This was really fun to write, and I know the ending seems to kinda wrap stuff up, but its not really. Trust me. Many more loose ends need to be taken care of. Also, after this, I am contemplating writing a prequel to this. Dave and Karkat's relationship before Levi. So that might happen, I'm not sure yet exactly. I really want to write a fic from scratch in the way that there's no background between two characters to cover, to just write a high school AU or something. Writing a prequel might give me that chance. In any case, this maybe wrapping up soon. However, keep reading so I can close up loose ends and whatnot! And I still want more story ideas guys, this still has plenty to go. Review, keep up the communication! I love you all, my dearest readers. Enjoy chapter 11, in which we have a time jump and a lottle actual development of plot! Heehee love you guys, Halter out, babies!**

Dave held me tightly and I buried my face in his neck. I breathed in his scent deeply, the best smell in the world, and I felt the small chuckle he made vibrate through my chest from how tight together we were. Dear god I had missed this, I had missed him.

I felt tears begin to gather in my eyes and willed myself to hold them back, unsuccessfully. They streaked down my cheeks, the warm rivulets dripping onto the bare skin where his neck muscles attached into his back. He pulled back slightly, staring into my eyes with such a deep, caring look that I started sobbing even harder.

"Kitkat, what's wrong?" I buried my face in his chest, and mumbled quietly.

"I'm happy. There's nothing wrong, I'm just happy, fuckass. And there's nothing you can do about it. I am happy and will remain so as long as I'm with you." I swear I could hear him smirk at my words.

"Wouldn't change that for the world, doll."

~LE DRAMATIC TIMESKIP!~

I was brushing my teeth, staring in the mirror at my now well-kept visage. Since I had returned home two weeks ago, I had cleaned up a whole lot. My long, flat brown colored, shaggy hair had promptly been cut, dyed, and styled by my hairdresser (at least until he gets his big break with a music agency) boyfriend, now a short and stylish black with red highlights. Clean-shaven - not that my face grew hair in the first place, but it was a nice touch - and dressed in a crisp black suit, I was the picture of professional.

I was going to a job interview to be an accounting secretary for a law firm, since that was what my college degree was for in the first place. I hadn't had a job since I was laid off two months before Dave and I had broken up. Apparently two accountants was too much for the small firm I was working for at the time, and obviously they kept the young, voluptuous female instead of the hard working gay male. With a small sigh and a large grin, I spat out the foam and rinsed my mouth. Straightening my jacket, I admired how nice I looked. Sophisticated, elegant, professional. And, since I'd gone through so many interviews previously (and jobs because they always wanted to keep the chicks), I knew exactly what to say and how to act to get the job. This time, I was going to keep it, too.

I really wanted this job. This law firm represented the minorities in a way not many did. The focused on sexualities and ways of like that were underrepresented and discriminated against, and as a gay man, this was the epitome of my dream job. I knew they wouldn't let me go to keep an attractive young gal, because they wouldn't care about that as much. I smiled, and looked down.

On the counter was the razor I had used on my now-healed wrist not very long ago. I hadn't cut since then, hadn't even had the impulse. I grabbed it in my hand in pride, knowing I was done with that part of my life. Done with the pain, done with the memories. I was new, I was loved, I was happy, and I would have a new job soon enough. We had changed my cell number so Levi couldn't find me, and Dave had an audition later that day. Things were going well, and I was content and excited for my interview. I sashayed confidently into the kitchen where Dave was waiting with a smile.

"I'm about ready to head out, darling," I said with a loving smile.

"Alright baby!" He kissed me on the cheek, and I turned my lips to his, melting into the gentle, chaste kiss. With a chuckle and a small grin, he pulled away. "Good luck my dear. Knock 'em dead!" I giggled.

"You know I will. And rock the audition, okay? I want us both to come home with a job." He grinned, nodding enthusiastically.

"I'm getting it this time," he said with confidence. Jokingly, he added, "just don't bring Vriska this time, okay?" I laughed, punching him in the shoulder.

"Of course. I love you!"

"I love you too, my dear. So long." With one last lingering kiss, I whispered in his ear softly.

"Adieu, mon amour." I smiled and winked, walking out of the house, sending one final glance over my shoulder as I closed the door behind me, walking to the car.

**thanks for reading to this point, thank you for following. I just want to tell you all how much I appreciate your continued support, you guys mean everything to me! I love you all, talk to me please! Even if its jus saying hey, not even a review! I read and reply to all of them, and I'll even check out any fics you've written as well! Keep reading, we've got some intense stuff (most of the... Sexual triggers besides smut should be over now) coming up here. Love you all! **


	13. Chapter 12: Return

**O.o omfg I'm updating twice in one night! This is so exciting! uwu Anyway beginning to wrap shit up, but this chapter is... Quite intriguing at the end. Also check out shaysdragon she's lovely I reference one of her fanfics in here. Anyway I thought I would explain something. The whole Halter thing, actually. I you haven't been to my author page, you wouldn't understand. I share this fanfic account with my gay friend, his pen name is 00RNBW and he signs his works with that, and I am Halter, so I sign mine with that. Figured that may be confusing ppl who don't visit our authors page. So yeah. As always, review and all that jazz. See ya guys at the ending AN!**

I triumphantly exited the revolving doors of the Fuji Law Firm **((A/N I'm referencing(ish) The Only Constant Is Change, an Ouran High School Host Club fanfic by shaysdragon, go check it out. The main plotline is about alternate lifestyles and Haru wants to represent people like this so I just decided to name this after her. Thank you Shay! I know I didn't ask you but I really like it and I want to pay homage. Hugs and kisses!))**, new job in hand. I had been here for four hours already, even though the interview only took a half an hour. They liked me so much they decided to hire me on the spot, so we went through the process and they even gave me my orientation for the job. Ms. Fuji, the head lawyer who began the firm in the first place, was super kind and I already knew we were going to get along. My first day would be the following Monday.

Proud of my accomplishment, I slid into my gray Buick, leaving the parking lot in the best mood I had been in for a long time. The only thing that could top this feeling would be if Dave got his job as well. I sent luck vibes to him, hoping it would help, my love for him overwhelming and immaculate. Deciding we would celebrate that evening, I pulled into the supermarket, intending on getting a few choice items.

I was in the wine aisle when he found me.

"Karkat...?" A familiar voice grated out, making me wince. I was instantly terrified, hoping it wasn't who I thought it was. Turning, the hulk of a man I feared it was, stood in front of me.

"Levi," I held in my fear and stated with a curt nod. I would not let him get the best of me in such a public place.

"Karkat, you're coming home with me." I heard the threat underlying his words, I saw the anger I knew so well in his hazel eyes. Gritting my teeth, I looked him square in the eye.

"No."

"What did you say?" He was enraged now.

"I said, no." His jaw clenched. I didn't care. I was finally standing up for myself. "I'm not leaving with you. I'm not returning to that hellhole you called an apartment. Fuck you, and fuck everything you ever did to me. I'm happy, I have someone who loves me and doesn't abuse me. You are not taking me from him, and I'm never leaving him again."

"Look here, you little skank," he grabbed my wrist, digging his fingers in deep enough that I could already tell they were going to bruise. "You're coming home with me, you're going to make me dinner like the good little bitch you are, and then you will receive your punishment for running away, got that?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "I said no. You have no ability to force me. I'm not going with you." I pulled my arm, with some pain, from his grip. "I will never go back to you, you abusive asshole. And if you ever come near me or Dave again, I swear I will have you put in jail." He scoffed.

"You have no proof," he laughed. "They'll never believe you, baby."

"Oh, won't they?" It was my turn to laugh, playing the ace up my sleeve. "I have proof of everything you did. I kept a camera diary, and I set up a hidden camera to film your abuses." He paled instantly. "You come near us ever again, and those are going straight to the cops."

"You're bluffing," he said, sweaty and pallid. I grinned evilly. Payback is a bitch.

"Oh hun, I never bluff. Now leave." He shakily turned and walked away. Of course, I was planning on giving those tapes and photos to the police anyway, so he was being put away one way or the other. I mulled it over. I figured I would geba restraining order first, since those were quicker to be pushed through. The courblt case would take longer, I knew his lawyer. He was a hardass and he knew how to twist facts.

In any case, I knew I would be safe soon enough. I whistled happily; everything was going so well, and it was spectacular. Quickly I got what I was there for, paid, and was on my way out. I cheerily organized the bags in the back of the car, then closed the trunk so I could leave.

My blood ran cold, I saw Levi grinning sadistically behind me in the reflection, holding a pipe above his head. I didn't even have time to think, let alone shout before it cracked down on my head with a sickening _CRACK_ and my world went dark.

**MWAHAHAHHAHA I am evil I know. What will happen to Karkat? Does Dave get the job? All will be revealed in due time. I love you guys! anyway my dears as always, thank you for reading! I appreciate every single one of you, silent or not! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I've been looking over the first chapters. Jus so you know, the first chapter seemed kind of choppy because it was an RP with a friend, modified slightly to fit this, as she was in the closet watching this, and I couldn't do that perspective so I changed it a bit. Also, I've been noticing how much my writing has improved! It sounds better and better as the chapters go along. I guess Creative Writing really is paying off! Yay! **

**Also just wanted to say really quick on a depressing note, many - not all, but many - of the experiences that Karkat is going through are based on a couple relationships I've had, so this is quite... Realistic for me. But its therapeutic as well so yeah. Not begging for pity just wanted to throw that out there, that there are abusive sickos out there. Watch out please, these relationships are hard to get out of. If you are in one, message me. I can give you advice and love a d understanding. I care for you, and you are NOT stuck no matter how difficult it may seem. **

**Revie my dear, sweet readers. **


	14. Chapter 13: Torture

**Alright guys I'm updating again! I'm on a roll here, and am bringing this to an ending soon! However, I promise at least one smut scene uninterrupted by trauma by the end. This chapter flowed really well, even if it is really sad and sickening. Levi is back, and he's back with a vengeance against Karkat for leaving him. Trigger in this chapter is violence. Much violence. Levi violence. No rape however, do not worry, darlings. In any case, here's chapter (is it already?) 13 of Regret!**

My eyes gradually focused, black fuzzies remaining on the edge of my vision. The dank smell sat in my nostrils, dampening my already sour mood. I looked around in confusion at the room: concrete. All was concrete. Concrete walls, concrete chairs, concrete floor I was lying on. I attempted to shift my legs, but there was a metal weight dragging. I looked down, and my legs were chained together a the ankle.

"Where am I?" The sound of my own voice stung my ears, sharpening the pounding in my head, the steady drum beat I hadn't noticed now hitting me like a brick. I reached up, meaning to cup my head in my hands, and winced as I touched the back of my skull. Pain shot through my scalp, searing white hot through my consciousness as I gasped. I felt the crusted blood meet my fingertips, and then the memory of what had happened flooded my mind. Levi had hit me with a pipe. That explained the hangover-like pain in my head.

"I said you were coming home with me, and now you're home," a dark voice rumbled from an even darker corner, and the hazy figure walked closer, crouching down to my level. Levi's words sent pangs through my brain, then I realized the meaning of his words. I knew where I was. The basement of Levi's apartment building. Steeling myself against the pain sound was causing, I spoke again.

"Let me go. They will find me. Dave will find me. I promise. And when they do, you'll regret **((A/N yes this was one of the purposes of the name from the start))** that you ever touched me."

"Ooooo big words from a tiny SLUT!" he snickered with a sadistic grin on his offensive face. "You are in no position to give orders or even negotiate." Quickly he clamped a pair of metal shackles on my wrists, yanking the chain to jerk me forward. "In fact, you're in no position to do... Well, anything at all, dearest little Karkat," he sneered. My bones chilled at the look in his eyes. I had seen that look before, when he had finished playing with me and was going to take his anger out on me.

He stood up, pulling the chain through a loop on the ceiling, hoisting me up until I hung from the bones of my wrists, only able to support myself from the tips of my toes, pain grating trough my arms when I adjusted. I glared at him, and spat in his face. "I'm not your bitch anymore, Levi. I will never submit to y-" a vicious backhand met my face before I could finish my statement. I felt my lip split, and the tangy taste of iron filled my mouth. He raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you had learned. Just shut the fuck up," he said indifferently, flippantly. I licked my lip and grinned.

"Nope. I never learn. And you'll have to do a lot more than that to hurt me again. Bring on the pain, Levi. I can take it. I don't need you anymore." He responded by yanking the chains higher. I bit back an exclamation, determined not to give him the satisfaction of eliciting that from me. I heard a crack, and I felt my blood go cold.

He wasn't just using a belt this time. No, he had upgraded, the asshole. He had an actual, honest to god whip this time. I saw his teeth reflect in the darkness an evil smile, and I heard the rip of material as he split the seams of my shirt, tearing the clothing off my body. My pants came next.

I felt the chains digging into my wrists, pulling on the tendons, the ache growing stronger. The flesh was beginning to rub raw, not to mention how I could feel my shoulders pulling out of their sockets, threatening dislocation. I felt the cloth of my boxers strain against my ass, and another tearing sound was heard. I was now bare ass naked in front of Levi, wielding a whip.

The first CRACK of the whip was heard, snapping through the air, and excruciating pain ripped across my abdomen. I pressed my lips into a thin line, refusing to cry out and give him what he wanted. The second SNAP echoed through the room, reverberating off the walls, my chest stinging. The welts were already beginning to form. The third blow ran perpendicular to the others, and I felt the flesh tear at the intersection points. My eyes felt like they were floating, but I still refused to make a sound.

On the eleventh stripe, the tears began to fall. My chest was raw, bleeding, and it felt as if there was no unblemished skin on the entirety of my torso, and a few of the lashes had flashed to my nether regions, the tender skin there stripped bare and in agony. I was biting my lip at this point, holding back a scream.

On the fifteenth lash, there was a loud sound at the door, and there stood Dave in all his glory, running in to me, followed closely by at least ten uniformed police officers. As soon as the lashes stopped, I sagged, the metal restraints cutting deeper into my skin, my joints obviously dislocated by now. The tension eased as Dave removed the cold shackles, and I collapsed into his arms once again. I looked up at him, pride shining in my eyes.

"I didn't cry out. I held my own. I didn't give him what he wanted. He didn't get the satisfaction of breaking me," I whispered. He smiled down at me, eyes glowing with love. "I love you Dave."

The world went black again.

***tears* poor baby. But Dave saved him, and he held out. I love karkitty so much! Anyway, this should be the last abuse in this fanfic, violence should be over. This was sort of the climax, and we're beginning to wind down. I hope you enjoyed Dave's knight in shining armor moment! As always, you guys are my love and inspiration, and I love you all so much! Talk to me, review, send me loves. Big shout out to aka the lemon lover, you always have something kind to say! Also shoutout to shaysdragon, whom I messaged about using her thing last chapter, she responded and she's so kind and she was cool with it :3 and big loves and shout outs to anyone who's reading this, you're beautiful and lovely!**

**Hugs and kisses!~halter**


	15. Chapter 14: Hospital

**My dearest, lovely readers. Thank you for coming on this journey with me so far. We are nearing completion, within ten chapters, hopefully within a week or two with the pace in which I have been updating, which I have been attempting to do nightly. So much excitement, so much suspense. Also, my loves, I have decided what to do after this fan fiction: my ancestor OTP, a story based around Psiioniic and Signless. Ship name, Psinless. So excited, and I'm gonna have tons of fun writing it. It will be planned out for the most part, and its going to be fun. I will revisit this after I finish that one, making a prequel, not as triggering story of Dave and Karkats original romance. But I promise I will complete this first, I love you all so much for reading along with this so far. And here it is, CHAPTER 14 IN ALL ITS GLORY, HOSPITAL. IN WHICH KARKAT AWAKES. MWAHAHAHA ENJOY MY DEARS. AND PLEASE REVIEW!**

I woke up with a groan to the sound of an EKG machine beeping, Dave's warm hand wrapped tightly around my own. I couldn't move three quarters of my body, and one of my eyes was covered by a bandage, so I only had one functional eye. The world was wavy and uncomfortable to look at, the compact fluorescent lights wreaking havoc on my eyes and brain. I swore under my breath. Why do they even have those things in a hospital? It would obviously be stupid and painful for people with brain injuries... Oh, like me. I laughed a bit, a movement that I stopped instantly at the shot of pain ripping through my skull. I hissed, the sensation irritating me. I grimaced, half closing my eyes, apparently not smart enough to close them all the way.

The small sounds escaping my dry lips roused the sleeping blonde whose head was resting on my bed, drool gently dripping out of the corner of his mouth. He raised his head, eyelids drooping, smacking his lips and licking up the liquid oozing from his mouth. I smiled, the visage of my dearest knight looking so vulnerable a welcome sight for tiresome eyes. When he saw my eyes open, the beautiful burgundy eyes shot wide.

"Karkat! You're awake!" He whispered, his voice husky and raw. I noticed the skin around his eyes was puffy and a blotched red, signs he had been crying recently. I smiled.

"Yup. Still here," I croaked out. My vocal chords felt like they hadn't been used in days. He grasped my hand even tighter, if that was possible, tears running down his handsome face.

"Dear gog, Karkat. I thought I had lost you. I grinned wider.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily baby." From the dark maroon and mauve bags under his eyes, I didn't think he had slept in days, what he just woke up from was probably the first time he had slept in a while. But wait, I hadn't been asleep that long, right? "How long have I been out?"

He bit his lip, hesitating, then spoke. "Karkat, you've been in a coma," he began, his voice cracking with emotion. "You haven't... For a while no one thought you were ever going to wake up, and even if you woke up yo would be a vegetable or at least... Different." I felt my eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"Well, I'm a trooper. How long was I out?"

"Baby, your wounds have healed tremendously since you got here. The reason your in a full body cast is so that you don't mess up the healing process that's well on its way to completion. Your chest is completely healed, and most of the bones that were fractured have mended. The brain damage is healing but is still quite... Dramatic."

The revelation that I was out long enough for bones to mend meant I was out a while. "You didn't answer my question. How long?" He glanced away from me, not making eye contact.

"Levi is in prison, and Ms. Fuji has personally taken up your case. She's planning on prosecuting him to the fullest extent of the law." He bit his lip harder, blood leaking a bit from his obviously chapped lips. He was frustrating me to no end at this point.

"Dave, look at me. Answer me." He met my eyes, softly speaking still.

"We found the tapes you had recorded of the abuse happening in the apartment, and we caught him in the act, so there's no doubt he's going away forever. Apparently he's done this before, and killed another person. Her name was Marietta. Apparently he finished her off by making a snuff tape that they found in his closet. We also found someone who looks exactly like him who's wanted for the same thing, more than ten times over, across the United States. At this point, the trial is mainly going to determine whether or not he will be on death row or in prison for life. Even if he pleads insanity, he's never getting out." I pulled my hand from his and grabbed his chin.

"DAVE. HOW LONG WAS I FUCKING OUT. ANSWER ME,* I shouted at him, wincing at the sound of my own voice piercing my mind. His answer pissed me off more.

" As soon as I knew you were missing, late that night, I called Ms. Fuji asking where you were. She said you had left after you got the job, saying you were going to the supermarket to get some stuff to celebrate your new job. I went there and the employees said you had left after talking to a strange man, and I knew it was Levi. I also knew he had you when I saw your car still in the parking lot. I figured he would have taken you to the apartment. I went to the cops but they said someone had to be missing at least twenty four hours before a missing persons report could be filed. Ms. Fuji pulled some strings and after telling them what we had figured out, and you two's history, they agreed. We found you soon after that, and you know the rest of the story." I slapped him hard, wanting an answer.

"DAVE!" I shouted, then breathed deeply, calming myself so I didn't hurt my head. "How. Long. Was. I. Out. You. Gogdamn. Fuckass." He winced and looked me in the eye, and I knew he was finally going to say it.

"Karkat, we all thought you were braindead. You've been unresponsive and your brainwaves have been down beneath vegetative states the entire time. Every expert we found told us that you were never going to wake up and we should just mercifully pull the plug, and if by some miracle you did awake, that you would be in a vegetative state." I attempted to interrupt him again, but he put his finger to my lips. "I'm not finished," he choked out, hot tears streaming down his high cheekbones, squeezing my hand harder. The agony in his eyes was killing me. Leaning in close, he whispered one simple sentence that made me go stiff and my blood run cold, knowing why he took so long to say it.

"Love, you've been in a coma for two months."

**Dramatic music plays as the curtains descend on chapter 14. Keep reading, smut is coming soon, I promise. Dear readers, leave a review! Anyone who does so, I will read all your stories I can and will give you a shout out at the authors note at the end of next chapter. A who review at any time I'm gonna shout out to at the last chapter. Love you all, and keep up as we begin winding down the train wreck that has been Regret.**

**Hugs and kisses!~halter**


	16. Chapter 15: Gaze

**Hey guys I know I said I was gonna update qquickly but I took the weekend off cause yeah. Anyway this chapter needed to exist badly. I know how hard it is to do what Karkat does, but it brings much needed closure to a horrible event. My dears, this chapter flowed freely from my fingertips, I hope you enjoy it. I hope it makes you cry because it should. Review my dears for this is one of the heart wrenching actually applicable moments in this story. There is a time skip because I don't know how to write a hospital stay or a trial so I skipped them. Anyway Chapter 15 is now ready for your reading and reviewing pleasure, entitled Gaze.**

I didn't say anything. Two months? How in the world was I out for two months? He fidgeted, looking down.

"They tried convincing me to pull the plug multiple times, that it would be better in the long run, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't." He touched my cheek gently. "And I'm so glad I didn't. I would have lost you." I took his hand with a smile.

"You will never lose me, not entirely. I know it is cliche but even if I do die, my dear, sweet Dave, I will always be here," I press my hand to his chest, "in your heart." He smiles softly.

"But my love I know that. But you'll always be by my side as well!" I smile and go to cuddle into him, but don't even move an inch.

"Crap. Can't move because the cast. Mind giving me a hug my dearest?" He smiled, the radiance of his smile my favorite sight as he stood up and leaned over me, hugging me softly.

"Just heal up nice and good, okay baby?" I nodded.

~ANOTHER DRAMATIC TIME SKIP WOO~

I tugged absentmindedly on a lock of hair. I couldn't stop fidgeting as the judge slowly made his way back to the stand. He had been conferring with other judges, as this was a case that crossed state lines and involved many many people. The jury had easily declared him guilty earlier: the evidence had been overwhelming. The only question now was his punishment. The sentence was going to be determined very, very soon.

Ms. Fuji, or Haru as she asked me to call her, had been pressing for the death penalty. The bastard's lawyer knew there was no way Levi was ever getting out, everyone knew that. So he was pushing for life with parole a possibility in fifty years.

"Bring in the defendant," the old tired voice rang from the elderly judge. Metal shrieking on metal was heard, the sound of handcuffs grinding on themselves. Two guards led a disheveled Levi in the room. I dug my nails into the wooden seat as I had done every time he came into the room the entirety of the trial. The judge spoke again. "Mr. Vantas, I believe you have words to speak to this man before the sentencing is announced?" I nodded, smiling tightly at the surprised look on Dave's face. "Very well, you have the stand." I walk up slowly, avoiding eye contact with my tormentor. That is, until I was at the stand, and I cleared my throat. That was when I looked deep in his eyes, unleashing all the pain and agony he had caused me on him in one dark glare. I took a deep breath and began the words I needed to say.

"Levi Jack Derse. You have made my life a living hell since I met you. I believed you loved me, I believed you were what I deserved. You found me when I couldn't have been more vulnerable and you took advantage of that." I glared into his eyes, pouring my hate into our locked gazes. "You kept me locked in that small apartment for months, secluded and alone. You alienated me from the outside world, and you committed unspeakable horrors upon me, and invited others to join in your fun, and I assumed that was all you did.

"After Dave rescued me and accepted me back, I was finally functioning again. I got a job, I was happy. When I chose to celebrate my new life, you showed up. You kidnapped me, you bashed my head in. If it wasn't for Dave's love, I would have died that day. He was willing to do anything to save me. You put me in a coma, you broke my body and mind nearly beyond repair. Then when I regained consciousness, I found out I wasn't the first. I wasn't the only one to suffer at your hand, I wasn't your only victim. There are many more girls who fell prey to you, and I was the only one to survive. The only victim to last, to escape. The one to bring you down with the help of my loved ones. I am bringing justice to those you wronged." I paused for a moment.

"However, there is something I need to say to you beyond the fact that you are a disgusting excuse for a human being and I have no doubt you are going to rot in hell." This was the part I needed to say. I took a deep breath. "No matter what you did to me, and those other unfortunate girls, I cannot be the lesser person. I know for myself and for the other women to ever have peace, there is something that must be said. Yes you have committed atrocities against us. Yes you are despicable and you don't in the slightest deserve to be relieved of any responsibility for your actions.

"However, in my heart, I know I cannot hold it against you and keep that piece that you would still hold of me. I need to let that go, and while you are not absolved of anything, there is one thing that must be said. And yes, you deserve whatever sentence His Honor hands down, and regardless of what it is, it is your penance. But I must tell you that in my heart, I release you. I will not hold onto this hate. And while I cannot speak for your other victims, I do speak the truth that needs to be spoken from my heart.

"I will not let you destroy me any more than you already have." I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the words that needed to be said. I opened them again, and instead of the fury and hate that were contained in my gaze before, I poured all the mercy I could into the look.

"Levi Jack Derse, I forgive you."

**:') Karkat gets much needed closure. Things will go much smoother and sweeter now my lovelies. Review your hearts out! Shoutouts to my reviewers last chapter! **

**My dearest sweetest regular viewer who always brings a smile to my face, AKA the Lemon Lover! Your always there at the end of every update and I love you dearest!**

**Honlytonk-babe3, this is your first review but I am so happy that yo took the time to give me feedback and I love you my sweet!**

**BlueberryButtons, my darling husband. My best friend. Your support and input is always inspirational and kind. Never chang, my loviest Sadie!**

**Last but not least, my dear sweet friend to the north, mapleycanadian! You've spoken to me several times and you always have kind words. Stay spunky, sweetheart!**

**I will do more of these for my reviewers this chapter. I love you all and thanks for reading chapter 15 and I will see you all hopefully tomorrow or the next day for chapter 16! **

**Hugs and kisses! ~halter**


	17. Chapter 16: Old Bonds

**Ermagerd new update yay! Thank you all once aagain for sticking through all this weirdness that I call Regret, I appreciate each and every one of you.y lovelies who reviewed last chapter, Kitty is Mew and aka the Lemon Lover, you both are so kind and sweet, thank you my dears! Lemon, I want to specifically thank you, at the end of every chapter I can look forward to kind words from you and an honest opinion. Your simple words mean everything to me and I love you, you spectacular thing! **

**So yes, this is an update. There is sentencing of Levi (do you like his full name?It was a spur of the moment thing and I think it turned out quite well, I enjoy the name), and a surprise visit from some people. One in particular, in fact. I know its a bit late to be adding in another character, but he just fit in so naturally with the story, I had to slide him in there! Anyway, here is Chapter 16, Old Bonds!**

I nodded to the judge and quickly left the stand, breathing hard, yet feeling utterly liberated. That was the hardest thing I had ever had to do, and the stress was getting to me; however, there was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and I felt much more at peace than I had felt in a long time. I approached my seat, and Dave held his hand out to me, his eyes shining with pride and welling with tears. He pulled me into an embrace before sitting back down with me. He looked like he was about to say something but was interrupted by the judge clearing his throat.

"Thank you Mr. Vantas, I believe I speak for everyone here when I say that was very touching, and I salute your bravery and mercy. However, this court must now cast thoughts of mercy aside and instead focus on the facts of this man's actions. The brutality in which he treats other human beings is completely indecent and this must be punished. Through review of your crimes, Mr. Derse, and through extensive discussion, we have settled on your sentence.

"Ms. Fuji, we are denying your push for the death penalty. However, we are also denying the sentence of lifetime with parole possible. For each of the deaths of the eleven women whose murders you were convicted with, you will serve sixty years, the maximum sentence allowed for first degree murder. However, while these sentences usually have parole available after a predetermined allowance of time, we must call into account the abuses you inflicted upon them and Mr. Vantas. Therefore, for the acts of domestic abuse and intent to injure and kill, you will not be allowed parole at any point in jail, or even to have your sentence reduced for good behavior.

"Last but not least, for the crime of kidnapping and torture of Mr. Vantas, you will receive an additional twenty years to be served consecutively with the other sentences. Mr. Vantas will also be awarded $500,000 emotional and medical expenses, to be paid for from your personal accounts, the details of which have been released to me and I know you can afford. I am also awarding the families of the deceased females $200,000 for funeral expenses and emotional damage. I know this sentence and monetary award will never cover the loss of a child or sister, but I hope it assists in living with the pain. Also, any psychological therapy expenses will also be removed from your personal accounts in addition to the aforementioned awards." He banged his gavel on the table.

"The defendant Levi Derse has been sentenced to 680 consecutive years in a federal penitentiary without chance of parole. In addition, $2,700,000 in damages will be awarded to his victims and their families, with further expenses also to be removed from his personal accounts." The gavel thundered once more. "Case closed, court adjourned." Levi's lawyer came over and conferred with Haru for a while, indicating that they had no intention to appeal the ruling.

Dave squeezed my hand, letting me know it was time to go. I have to admit, I enjoyed the thought of Levi being the play toy of another man. Karma is a bitch, and that's the truth. Just like he was going to be. We quickly walked out of the courtroom as Levi was led out of the room, head down, defeated expression on his face.

After the long drive home, I just wanted to curl up with Dave and never let him go. A different story was waiting for me when I got home. We walked in the door, and suddenly I was bombarded by a mass of people yelling, "Congratulations!" I was overwhelmed as I recognized all the faces before me. They had all come to celebrate the court ruling.

Among the people there was Sollux and his brother, Mituna, Dave's sister Rose and her girlfriend Kanaya, my grumpy cousin Eridan was bablling with my grandma Meenah and her stepdaughter Feferi in the corner, my best friend Aradia, and Dave's older brother Dirk and his husband, Jake. I looked around more and saw more familiar faces. My stoner friend Gamzee and his goofy mute of an older brother, Kurloz, with his deaf wife Meulin on his arm, my uncle Rufioh and his baby son Tavros in his arms, aunt Porrim on his right, and Vriska's mom Latula was chatting with them happily. I was surprised to see Dave laughing and wrestling with Vriska herself while her cousin Equius was watching, making sure they didn't hurt each other.

The rest of the faces blurred together as I held in tears at the sight of the one person I never expected to see again, whom I hadn't seen since he had moved to Russia to be with his fiancée, Cronus (who was also here, playing his guitar as a few curious friends listened, e trances). The one person I never thought to speak to again, and the one person I was just now realizing was the very person I wanted to see above all others. Dressed in his usual nicely fitted black sweatpants and a baggy red sweater, black long sleeved shirt peeking out at the wrists, with a small, unsure smile on his face, he approached me slowly and carefully, like one would a bear or lion. He held out his hand, but for once I ignored his boundaries, risking a lecture on triggers and personal space, I yanked him into a firm, close hug, hot tears soaking my cheeks as I tightened my grip around my brother's shoulders. To my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me in return, and I felt his body shaking with sobs just as mine was. I couldn't speak, I just held him tightly, relishing in the contact that was so rare with him. My voice continued to fail me even when my shaking stopped and the flow of tears stemmed, so he was the first to break the silence, his voice raspy and filled with emotion.

"I missed you too, Karkat," Kankri said with a soft smile I felt through the contact.

***happy sigh* oh Kanny, my dear. You have wormed your way into a Davekat fic. Whatever shall we do with you? Hahaha anyway, thank you for reading this chapter! Expect some yaoilicious lemon very soon, and also, once again ima shout out to my lovely reviewers next chapter. So get busy on those keyboards my dears! You all are so lovely, and I would appreciate any feedback and words you have for me! Nice long chapters lately. I'll try updating tomorrow again! As always, see you next chapter and I love you all my dearest lovelies!**

**Hugs kisses!~halter**


	18. Chapter 17: Party

**Hello my dears once again! I thank you for joining me for another installment! Were less than five chapters from completion, and I hope you all have been enjoying! Here is chapter 17, Party!**

Kankri stood there, holding me uncharacteristically as I shook, clutching his slight frame.

"There there, brother," he said. "It's going to be alright." His shirt was thoroughly soaked with my tears at this point, and I hiccupped on his shoulder. Pulling back, I looked at his face, seeing the love he held for me written plainly on his features.

"I'm sorry for the unprompted hug. But I never thought... I mean, you left so... You... Dear Gogs Kankri I never thought I would see you again." He cast his eyes downward, obviously embarrassed and feeling awkward.

"Yes well, I shall refrain from lecturing you on triggers, Cronus has been helping me with loosening up quite a bit, and we both needed it. I have become accustomed to, and have begun to actually seek out, physical interaction with loved ones. As for my return, well, after Dave contacted me and told me what had happened, I had to return. I've regretted leaving often, and since Cronus' job in Russia did not work, I've been wishing to return for quite some time. I was too ashamed to return home and face you, however, so instead we have been residing in an apartment in California. I thought you would never find me, but your lovely boyfriend was able to track me down since he knew I would want to know what happened." He was looking at his feet, embarrassed. Dave came up from behind and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"In fact, it was Nanny Kanny here who brought up the idea of a surprise party for after the trial," he said with a laugh, and I was surprised. "He wasn't lying when he said he's loosened up. Kankri here is a wonderful party planner, in fact I believe he can rival Kanaya in that aspect! I got him an apartment here in town, since I knew you two need to be closer together, after two years apart." Kankri smacked playfully at his hand, and I raised my eyebrow. Another first for me compared to what Kankri usually acts like. Casual, physical playfulness. He really had loosened up.

"Don't call me that, you douche," I was astounded at that point. Kankri insulting someone. Wow. "And besides, no one can rival Kanaya." He grinned. I smiled and relaxed more.

"That'll be nice. I've missed you more than you can imagine, Kan," I smiled. He blushed heavily, fidgeting.

"Yes well, I have misses you quite a lot too, you know. And I had to return for you. Us Vantas's need to stuck together," he stammered out. I smiled and gave him a hug, releasing him quickly. "Now, I think I'll go show those swooning girls who Cronus's heart belongs to. I imagine the other guests would love to talk to you." And with that, he was gone, weaving his way towards his fianceé who was strumming his guitar and singing a beautiful song he had written. I sighed and turned. Socializing was never my strong suit.

After that wada blur of smiling, familiar faces, as well as new ones. Some of my friends and family had met new people and had brought them with to meet me, and some had new children. A few had gotten together, the most surprising pairing I think being my awkward cousin Eridan, who is a professional swimmer, had gotten together with Sollux. That was a huge trip, considering everyone always thought they hated each other's guts. I guess they were just hiding their feelings.

Dave noticed when I stifled a yawn, and before the hour was up, the last of our guests were leaving the house. Dirk had left behind his maidbot, so we didn't have to clean up, thank god. That was my least favorite part of celebrations and parties like this: the fucking god awful mess everyone leaves behind for the hosts to clean. Relaxing was a welcome adventure, and I sat on the couch, listening to the whir of the robot servant fix up the house. My mind was racing over all the new developments between my friends, and it was overwhelming. The greatest revelation of the night, however, was still Kankri being home, and especially being able to see him now. My heart soared and my mind raced, excited over him being so close once again. However, everything stopped abruptly as Dave sat on my lap, interrupting my reverie, kissing me deeply and slowly.

"So Karkat baby," he said with a sensual smile. "Ready to finish what we started?"

**Here we go for the longer aauthor's note. Big thanks to all who read this chapter, and everyone whos been reading at all! I hope I don't suck too much. I'm too tired to write much more than this, but anyway I love Kankri. He's a doll. Crokri is my Beforian OTP to be honest. My ships show so much in this fanfic, its obnoxious.**

**Shoutouts!p**

**JustifyingReality413, your a cool bean, and super awesome. Thank you for reviewing. I love you.**

**AKA the Lemon Lover, you always are there for me and your so sweet. Thank you for reviewing, I love you.**

**MapleyCanadian, thank you for being so kind and always telling me what you think. Thank you for reviewing. I love you.**

**Sorry everything's really short but I'm tired. Oh! Smut is coming next chapter. Pure unadulterated yaoilicious smut. Prelare thineself for the sexis. All the feels being poured into this fic. Yes. Good night. And yeah. Review. Shout outs coming again. Probably better next time. Lol.**

**Hugs and kisses!~halter**


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